SLUMBER PARTY!!!

 

Hi boys and girls!

How’s everyone’s 2003 so far? I hope yours is going at least half as well as mine. This is a party invitation, needless to say. But before I get to those sordid details, I have a few things to say to you - my friends. Last year I didn’t have many parties. That was my loss, but it was yours too.  Please don’t think I had a party and you weren’t invited.  I am making up for lost time. And not just for philanthropic reasons! ;-)  The New Year’s Eve party was "da bomb!" Thanks to all of you who were able to attend. The party was da bomb because YOU were there! And for those of you with prior engagements, this is YOUR chance to make up for lost time. I look forward to seeing all of you. If you miss this one, it’s not the last one this year. Just the last one you’ll be invited to! (Totally kidding!)

For those of you who don't know, my actual birthday is the 18th.  I'm going with the preceeding weekend because I'll be celebrating another special birthday on the following weekend. ;-)  Romans: keep in mind that this birthday is also to celebrate the birthdays of my fellow Aquarian pipe dreamers Gaius, Arthol, and Warhawk. My roomate's party is also that day. Happy birthday, friends.

On with the invitation to share my birthday party festivities!

What do I want for my birthday this year? Not your presents. Just your presence!  Aside from that: I’m glad you asked! As people get older, we yearn for the days of our youth. I’m fortunate in that my Peter Pan syndrome makes me the boy who will never grow up. Which sucks, because I really wanted to be Peter Pan when I grew up. ;-) Oh well, where was I…?

(Parenthetically, that reminds me that Alzheimer’s and/or senility ultimately returns us gently to that childlike mentality whether we like it or not. If I’m fortunate enough to die of old age, I hope that senility comforts me like a nice warm blanket, making me too incompetent and unaware to realize that Death figures prominently on my b-day party invitation list along with you. But now I’m waxing philosophical in a morbid way; my funeral-themed birthday party was four years ago, and we’re NOT repeating that somber event! Is that enough digression for you? Me too! So back off, senility! Where was I again…? Oh yeah!)

It’s nice to remember those early days. Even better re-live them, for those of you who have left Never Never Land far behind! So this birthday theme is my gift to you, my privileged guests, just as your presence is your gift to me.

We will have a little regression therapy in the form of a…

I'll have a place, a theme (see below), another momentous soiree, all the usual suspects, fun and games for adults of all ages. The rest is up to you, so please bring anything else you'll need to be entertained!

WEAR and WHEN, or "BUT SEAN -- WHAT SHOULD I WEAR?"
I’m glad you asked! Go with the theme, folks. That’s what makes a party fun. This is a Pajama Party!

Boys: wear pajamas, shorts, bathrobes, cotton, fleece, flannel, silk, etc. Don’t show up naked telling me that you sleep in the nude! Trust me on this: no one wants to see naked guys. Not even women. Your friends’ parents would have kicked you right out if you showed up nude at a slumber party. As will I, to the thunderous applause of my relieved guests.

Girls: PJ’s, nightgowns, bathrobes, nighties, long shirts, negligees or whatever else seems inappropriate. Oops…! I meant appropriate! (Honest.) I’ll take the safe ground and not tell ladies how to dress, these are merely recommendations. You always know what you’re doing, so I’ll defer to the prettier gender’s irrefutable wisdom. But don’t be upset if someone dresses naughty. This is MY party after all. ;-)

Have FUN! - NO DRAMA, NO MELODRAMA, NO PSYCHODRAMA!!! From ANYONE! If we even suspect that you are not having fun, we will call your parents and tell on you. And we’ll infer that you were performing objectionable acts on my roommate’s dog.

DO NOT get sick or spill drinks on the floor!!! If you're too wasted to maintain, go home. If my parents find out about this party, you won’t be allowed to come over and play anymore.

Go with the theme, as above. No exceptions!  If you think your mother dresses you funny, imagine how your playmates will dress you!

Leave your kids at home. This is OUR chance to be chance to be kids, they get to do it everyday.

The party stays downstairs unless you’re with your host. NO exceptions. If you’re caught upstairs unescorted, the next time your parents see you, it will be on a milk carton. (Not kidding.)

Police your cigarette butts, bottles, and cans. Or we'll take your lunch money and beat you up. Then we'll say, "You started it" when we call your parents. And they'll believe us, not you.

Don't piss off my roommate. Or he'll take your lunch money and beat you up. Then he'll say, "He started it" when we call your parents. And we'll believe him, not you. Because you probably spilled beer too.

Be respectful. When you see pretty girls in hot outfits, and you will, remember they are here for their good time and not necessarily yours. Look but don't leer. And look but don't touch! (Unless specifically asked...) Please don't make my guests feel uncomfortable. That's my job!

If you need to slumber during the slumber party, you can probably have crash space. But please bring your own pillows and blankets. Don’t fall asleep on couches please. My guests who are awake have permission to roll you off on to the floor. Sweet dreams!

There are friends of friends I don't have e-mail addresses for, but would like to have attend. Check with me first before extending this invitation to other people. This party is invitation only.   I do check my invitation list at the door. Those of you who know me understand that the party will become increasingly decadent as the night progresses. As always, I advise against inviting Catholic priests, excessively anti-Roman types (you know who you are, and so do we!), Federal Agents, and the faint of heart. For some lucky few, this might be "that" kind of party. ;-) Please consider what's appropriate because I never do.

DIRECTIONS

From the 495 Washington Beltway in Virginia, directions are as follows:
Take Route 50 (Arlington Blvd.) East from 495.
At 7 Corners, Take Route 7 East Towards Alexandria.
At the fourth light, turn Right on Nevius.
Take your first right on Wilkins Drive.
The Villa Dominus is at 3327 Wilkins Drive, and it will be on the left. If you get lost, you suck! But you do have recourse! My phone number is 703-578-2924.